We interrupt today's scheduled post on the magic wonderland that is Valley Fabrics to bring to you a request for a little bit of the BKM (Big Knitting Mojo). We don't need a full measure or anything, just maybe a moderate application. Here's why:
This is one of the new chairs we bought over the tax free weekend here. It's one of a matched pair. You may notice that it doesn't LOOK like a brand new chair, but it is. Or, at least it was before it fell off the back of the truck in the middle of the highway (on our way home with it last night) and tumbled across a lane or so of I-93. More on that in a minute. Here's what I need. I need you all to focus on SKU#CMDF210193556 while we chat because this is part of a discontinued line of furniture (hence the ginormous clearance savings), and we badly need them to have another one JUST like this one. See the asymetrical arms? Yeah, it's important that the short arm of the replacement chair (assuming that there is one) be on the same side. SO, SKU# CMDF210193556. Everyone's got their focus? Ready to go on? OK, so let's head down to this wacky extended entry thing I've never used before and see the rest of the story.
Oh come on....there's more pictures......but don't forget, concentrate on that SKU.
It all started innocently enough. Here the sock and the boy are waiting patiently for the nice men at mega-furniture-store (no, not THAT one, the one with the IMAX and the amusement park rides) to bring us the furniture that we are so.excited.to.get. Please note rented ZipCar pickup truck. All hail the brilliance that is ZipCar.
So we're waiting and watching as they wrap everything up in plastic and load the chairs on the truck and then they tell us they're through with the chairs and I go get my car, put it where the truck had been parked and then shove this into the back of it.
Sorry, the color isn't quite right, but it's the best I could do this AM. And yes, there was a fair bit of rope and engineering involved in getting this to stay in the back of the Subaru. Kind of fun to watch to be honest.
So then we take off for home, and just after we rejoin I-93 from US24, the wind literally picks one of the chairs up out of the truck bed and tosses it casually into the middle of the highway RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I'm watching all of this and as I'm STANDING on my brakes (and bracing for impact as I'm listening to the tractor trailer truck RIGHT behind me desperately doing the same), I'm thinking to myself: I can't BELIEVE they didn't tie those fucking chairs down! Then I think a whole bunch of other stuff that's not fit to print, and then I panic a little, because the screeching big rig brakes? Loud. Not to mention very, very close, and seemingly going on forEVER.
Then it was over.
It was over and we were all OK and no one was hurt and the cartwheeling chair didn't hit anyone and I stopped in time and the tractor trailer stopped in time (with only about two inches to spare, I might add) and no one went tumbling down an embankment trying to avoid the chair, nothing. No, it was fine. I was fine. Everyone was fine. No one was hurt. Not a scratch on anyone's car. It was a bloody miracle. (If I haven't mentioned this to y'all before, I have a DAMNED fine guardian angel, whose patience and diligence I have sorely tested over the years, but who has always there for me when the chips are down - like, say, last night for instance. Everyone hug their guardian angel today, m'kay?) So then, THEN the nice truck driver patiently sat and blocked the lane for me so that I could pull over and then get the living room furniture off the highway and then he/she quite casually drove off as if nothing had happened.
Me? I spent a second or two trying to decide if it would help to throw up. In the end I decided it wouldn't, so I called Rick (who was halfway home already, having had no idea anything was amiss) to let him know that one of the chairs had successfully committed suicide and asked if he could maybe come on back and pick up its remains. And then, because I had no tequila to drink to calm my nerves, I did the next best thing. I took pictures.
Given the possible consequences of mega-furniture-store's gross negligence, and our own idiocy in not checking to make sure that stuff was secured in the truck, I'd say we got off pretty damned easy.
But I still want this chair. Well, not THIS chair, but a replacement.